If you want to get married and your partner has not yet popped the question, it may mean that there is a problem in the relationship.
According to relationship counsellor and psychologist Pam Spurr, couples who don’t get married after three years of dating are less likely to have their marriage last if they do finally decide to take the plunge.
In her experience, the ideal window to tie the knot is between 18 months and three years after the first date. Before 18 months is too soon because we are still in the honeymoon phase. Waiting more than three years means there are likely one or more underlying problems in the relationship. In this case, the couple should have a frank conversation about their future.
According to a report in the Daily Mail, marriage must first and foremost be a shared decision made by both partners. If one does not have the urge to marry, the other partner can be blamed at the time. After three years, some accept almost reluctantly to take a walk down the aisle because they fear losing their partner. Ultimately, however, the union does not survive.
The fear of commitment can have many causes, like being affected by our parents’ divorce, the uncertainty that our partner does not yet see our faults, having been married already, or the fear of losing one’s independence.
The couple must put all their cards on the table and say what they really feel so that the other does not have unrealistic expectations.