They call #99 “The Great One” for his outstanding play out on the ice, but we may soon have to change that name to “The Greatest One” thanks not to Wayne Gretzky the player, but Wayne Gretzky the man.
Over the weekend Gretzky joined the Spittin Chiclets crew during their broadcast of the FDNY vs NYPD hockey game, no doubt in an effort to help promote an event that puts the spotlight right on first responders. Being that the event was between a pair of teams based out of New York, Wayne Gretzky was asked to retell a famous story related to a family that lost their son during the tragic events of 9/11.
Gretzky would go on to share a story about how he met a family one day by the pool, a chance meeting that would forever change the contents of his wallet.
“Janet and I happened to be in Vegas for a charity event and they were sitting by the pool… sort of a family get together,” revealed Gretzky over the weekend. “I kinda walked by and they said ‘Are you Wayne?’ and I said yeah and they said ‘We had a son that tragically passed in 9/11 and here’s his picture,’ and they gave me his card and I said I’ll keep it in my wallet for life.”
It was a very nice thing for Gretzky to do and say, but surely no one would hold him to the impossible standard of keeping a photograph of a man he had never met, and would never meet, in his wallet forever?
Well according to Gretzky, a full decade later, he ran into friends of that very same family when he was once again in Las Vegas and what happened when they met will leave you in awe of Wayne Gretzky the man.
“10 years later I was in Vegas again for another event,” continued Gretzky “and friend’s of their family said ‘Can we ask you a question, do you still have that picture of our friend? Their family told us you were gonna have it in your wallet.’ I said yeah, and I pulled my wallet out and I still had the picture. I said I promised the family I would never lose it, I would keep it forever.”
Perhaps even more impressive than Gretzky’s unbelievable act of kindness was the completely humble and matter-of-fact matter in which he repeated the story. It was clear that Wayne did not want any kind of recognition for the gesture, although he certainly deserves it.
“You know what? Everyone went through a hard time,” said Gretzky. “For me to keep a little keepsake like that is special to me.”
Q: “My family loves playing board games at the cottage, but I’m not a fan. I think most games are boring. (My sister says I’m a “weirdo.”) I will play one or two rounds to be a good sport, but I usually just end up reading a book while they play. How can I suggest switching things up without taking away from their fun?”
A: Board games are enduring fixtures of pretty much every cottage place, filling drawers and closets and blanket boxes with a geological record of game-dom that can reach back to a Parcheesi board that has been in the family since the Boer War. Even people who don’t play games at their regular homes will have a hoard of cardboard entertainments up at the lake, which is a bit odd, but maybe it’s because the family cottage is the one place where enough people gather to provide the critical mass you need for board game play. It really doesn’t matter, though, because board games, like s’mores and sunburn and mosquito repellant, having been specifically named in the Book of Cottage, are mandatory things. So it is written.
I think some cottagers who don’t really like board games will play them if necessary, usually to appease a bored child or to “be a good sport,” as you have already noted. So, no, you are not a weirdo. Personally, I dislike most board games because of their utter pointlessness, with moves controlled by cards or dice, and little in the way of mental stimulation. Think Candy Land or Pop-O-Matic Trouble. Risk is all about global domination, which sounds like the best thing ever, but even if you win the game, you actually end up dominating nothing but a sheet of cardboard and some plastic game pieces. And that’s after playing a game that can take days to finish. But what do I know? When I was a child, my very favourite games were Mousetrap and Rattle Battle, mostly because they involved noisy contraptions that drove adults nuts.
I would guess that most cottagers truly do like board games, if only because they represent togetherness and family tradition. I also suspect some people play games because they must always be active and organized and are patently unable to relax and do nothing. Why some people love games more than others is a mystery, but we do know one thing for sure: there are about a gazillion different board games out there in the Fun-O-Verse, both old and new. Maybe if you could find a new game, one that you might actually enjoy, you could join in the cottage fun without having to suffer through two hours playing Clue where, spoiler alert, it was Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the library.
One way you could escape the misery of Cards Against Humanity or Hungry Hungry Hippos is to get your cottage crew into some games that are more active and less board. For example, I would rather play darts than Bananagrams any day of the week. (Actually, I would rather eat a bran muffin studded with broken glass than play Bananagrams, but that’s just me.) Why not shake things up with proper old-timey action games like horseshoes or ring toss or croquet or lawn darts? Cornhole anyone? I hear the hip kids are even throwing axes at wooden targets these days. Does anybody play mumblety-peg any more? Maybe it’s time to start.
Another way to up your game, so to speak, is to play for real money. The stake amounts are entirely arbitrary so you can play for pennies or real polymer banknotes. Do consider, however, that the higher the stakes, the more exciting your games will become, which translates into a higher level of emotional investment and better motivation. For example, regular Monopoly, using Monopoly money, can be super boring because, well, what’s the point? But swap that cartoon cash for Canadian Pesos and things get real interesting, real fast. Like when your judgemental sister checks into your new hotel on Marvin Gardens. “Who’s the weirdo now, Marcia? You owe me 1,200 bucks!”
The application of real currency to board games is truly transformative. Trust me. Normally I wouldn’t give two hoots if you sunk my battleship. But if you sunk my battleship and now I can’t pay my car insurance because I owe you $900? Well, that’s another, more exciting, kettle of fish entirely, isn’t it?
A lot of the time, cottage board game play is all about keeping children occupied. Which is great, because playing games with children for real money can be tons of fun. Kids are so naive. With really small ones, you can convince them, for example, that your loonie is worth more than their toonie. What’s the harm? For youngsters, the artificial construct of currency is just an abstraction, like the Tooth Fairy. Without being braggy, I will tell you that I am pretty good at Scrabble. But when I play against 10-year-olds, I am all but unbeatable, which is a very nice feeling indeed. Plus, I get to walk away with some extra cash in my jeans. The pay-it-forward benefit when you play children for real money is that you are actually doing them a favour. Beating a grade schooler at Jenga is one thing. But beating her at Jenga and taking $15 worth of Grandma’s birthday money teaches humility and how to appreciate the value of a dollar.
There’s a good chance you won’t be able to change your family’s board game habits. And I doubt you will turn into a game-lover overnight. So you might just want to stick with the status quo and read your books while others play. But if you truly want to warm up to the games thing, a good place to start is with a liberal application of alcohol. Adults only, of course, and here’s the thing: Pong was one of the first video games ever invented, yet nobody remembers it anymore. But when someone added beer to the equation, Beer Pong became the biggest party game in cottage country. It really cracked the code. That’s why playing Snakes and Ladders is dull and can lead to murmuring sadness, but navigating the same board with a pitcher of margaritas is super fun, even when you lose. You could even “gin up” some theme game nights with combos like Mojito Othello or Pina Colada Pictionary. Who wouldn’t love to play Trivial Pursuit of Zinfandel? The same way some good gravy can tune up a milquetoast meatloaf, a touch of tipple can make a good board game better and a bad one bearable. It’s a game changer.
This article was originally published in the August 2022 issue of Cottage Life.
Finding a family-friendly rental that meets all of your needs can be tough. You need a place that can keep the kids entertained, while also letting the adults get some much-needed R&R. These family-friendly cottage rentals offer an abundance of both.
From water toys to high chairs to swingsets, these cottage rentals tick all the boxes. The most taxing part of the trip will be deciding whether to book a mountain retreat, a place to lounge dockside, or somewhere offering outdoor adventures.
Either way, these rentals are sure to satisfy guests of all ages.
Nestled on Sproat Lake, this cottage rental offers a wade-in beach and a 1,200-sq.-ft. dock perfect for swimming. Take advantage of the pool table and foosball in the games room.
“Stunning home and property! In spite of a rainy, cool weekend we had an incredible family get-together! The house, entertainment area, and yard exceeded our expectations! So much to do for all ages!” wrote Warren and Donna P. in their review of the Stirling Arm Lakehouse.
With seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms, this cottage rental feels like you’re staying in your own private lodge. Located on the shores of the Somass River on Vancouver Island, kids can fish and swim, or take a dip in the heated, in-ground pool.
“Lovely private getaway for a family retreat,” wrote Christina M. about the West Coast River Lodge.
Only one hour from Toronto, this cottage rental offers a slice of paradise on Lake Simcoe. Take advantage of the local restaurants, boat rentals, and 18-hole golf course, all within a 10-minute-walk.
“We had a great time at the lake house. We were there with our family of six, kids aged 3 to 10, and two dogs. It was relaxing and comfortable,” wrote Dina K. about Big Bay Point Cottage.
Surrounded by 2.6 acres of a secluded forest, this vacation rental is a great spot for kids to explore and adults to relax. Have a campfire under the stars, head to nearby Deerhurst Highlands Golf Course, or explore Arrowhead Provincial Park.
“It’s a very nice place to stay with family. It’s clean and has everything you need. There are lots of lovely trails around. The host is very considerate and lovely,” wrote Shena X. in her review of Forestview Cottage.
Retaining its historic charm with modern comforts, this cottage rental is perched on a two-acre lot that is big enough for yard games, bonfires, and even a round of baseball. Plus it’s a short trip to nearby Cavendish Beach.
“We had a wonderful stay. Four adults and three kids slept comfortably, and everything you could want to do is very easily accessible from the house,” wrote Janet B. about Tenmile House Cottage.
This luxurious Muskoka cottage is located on a private island in the middle of Gloucester Pool Lake and is accessible by bridge. It has cathedral ceilings, a games room for the kids, and 180 feet of pristine waterfront.
“Rick’s place was just amazing. It’s in a sublime location and the property was perfect for our group. There were plenty of opportunities to relax, have fun on the water, and enjoy the great outdoors,” wrote Christine J. about her stay at Gloucester Pool Cottage.
With a view of the iconic Whistler ski hills, this vacation rental is a secluded mountain retreat. Enjoy the vaulted ceilings, wraparound deck, and outdoor hot tub, or take the family into Whistler Village to check out the local shops and restaurants.
“The house was perfect for our group of nine. It was well equipped, roomy, and the views were even better than the description,” wrote Madeline W. about Nighthawk Lane Cottage.
Retreat to this mountain lodge for your next family gathering. The rental features 10 bedrooms, each with its own private bathroom. There is a billiards room and hot tub for downtime with the family.
“It was a blast. Our family enjoyed our stay at this property. The staff were friendly and willing to help, and the place’s soundproofing made it a great place for the kids to sleep without having them wake up one another. Everything was well stocked and there were plenty of rooms to share,” wrote James C. in his review of Lorimer Ridge Lodge.
This open-concept cottage is perched on the shores of Lake Muskoka amongst 150-year-old pine trees. The cottage features a playscape for kids, a massive dock for swimming, and a horseshoe pit in case the family gets competitive.
“The cottage is beautiful with tons of space! Waking up early to see the sunrise was worth it. The lake was really nice. Barbecuing while the sun sets was also a joy. They have a little playground that my son enjoyed,” wrote Ray N. about Lake Muskoka Cottage.
Location: Gravenhurst, Ont.
Price: Averages $275 per night
Sleeps: 7
Bedrooms: 4
Notes:
Waterfront property
Internet included
Laundry on site
Playscape and swingset available for kids
Outdoor fire pit
Guest fee of $65 per night for each extra adult after the first two renters
This pet-friendly cottage rental comes with all the boats you need to explore Oxtongue Lake. Kids can play in the shallow shoreline or relax in the property’s hammock. And if you’re looking for a family adventure, Algonquin Provincial Park is only minutes away.
“My family and I enjoyed a great week at Freddie’s. Our grandchildren loved the beach and spent many hours playing in the water. The adults enjoyed using the paddle boards and kayaks to explore the lake. The cottage is stocked with everything you need and Will is a great host,” wrote Jim V. in his review of Oxtongue Lake Cottage.
Roy and Ellen, in 2019. Photo courtesy of the MacGregor family.
You see them everywhere when they’re missing. A favourite coffee mug…gardening gloves…an old raincoat…that rose just about to bloom…her paddle…
She’s there even when she isn’t. In fact, in this particular place, she’s here more than anywhere else.
We fell in love here at this little lake at the end of Limberlost Road. We honeymooned here 50 years ago this September. She had the jeweller inscribe a message on the inside of the rings we exchanged: “You and me, buds for all times.”
We were going to retire at the lake—two old “buds” on a last great adventure. Who knew that “for all times” would run out so quickly?
Ellen’s parents built this simple cottage in the late 1960s. Camp Lake is pretty and clean, with a long finger of a bay called Flossie Lake tickling into the western boundary of Algonquin Provincial Park. A lovely falls at the end of the bay delivers water clean enough to drink, and for years the family did. The water streams into Tasso Lake, then down the Big East River to Lake Vernon, where it eventually becomes the Muskoka River.
No running water. No telephone. An outhouse. A dock.
Ellen and her sister, Jackie, grew up here and then brought their own babies here. Ellen eventually inherited the cottage, dramatically improving it over the last quarter-century with our beloved local builder, John Streight. An extension to hold growing grandchildren. New sheds. New docks. A telephone. A pump to send water from the lake up to serve the new shower and toilet.
She insisted, however, that an outhouse was still a necessity—winter visits, summer power outages—and so she made a new one herself. I got to dig out the hole. She built the original deck as well, working a power saw while still managing four youngsters under the age of 10.
She’s everywhere, but nowhere so present as in the magnificent gardens she built by hauling massive boulders out from the bush. The kids always said she had “ox blood.”
Our daughter Kerry called from her home in France in the spring of 2021 to say she knew what the problem was, that clearly the doctors were giving Ellen the wrong blood—human. Never ill a day in her life, she had suddenly become dangerously anemic in the spring of her 73rd year. She fainted one morning at the kitchen table and an ambulance rushed her to hospital.
While they did tests that discovered a dangerous growth in her abdomen, she contracted COVID-19. She never complained. The nurses fell in love with her easy laugh and smile. But she could not breathe and passed on April 13, her family gathered around a cell phone for one last word and far from last tears.
The nurse who sat with her for the final moments later told us that Ellen, ever practical, first cancelled her breakfast, then closed her eyes.
That practical side could be breathtaking. We had, sadly, been forced to put down our much-loved 17-year-old border(line) collie that winter and had planned to take Willow’s ashes to the cottage. “I think you’ll be taking two boxes of ashes,” Ellen said. Of course, that is what she would want.
Roy and Ellen, around the time they were married in 1972. The Cottage had been built a few years earlier by Ellen’s parents, Lloyd and Rose Griffith. Photo courtesy of the MacGregor family.
Roy and Ellen, 1972
Ellen with daughter Christine in 1980. Photo courtesy of the MacGregor family.
Ellen and young Christine, 1980
Grief is a strange animal. It can attack when you least expect it. At a family cottage, it lurks everywhere.
In The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion’s 2005 book on the unexpected passing of her husband, she writes, “I could not count the times during the average day when something would come up that I needed to tell him. This impulse did not end with his death. What ended was the possibility of response.”
Never had the drive up Limberlost Road felt longer than that very first visit after Ellen’s passing. Son Gordon came with me, as I could not bear to go alone. It was the strangest feeling as I unlocked the door that she had last locked at Thanksgiving: fear rising, joy spreading.
Her presence was everywhere; her absence was everything. She was down at the dock teaching children how to swim. She was at the stove, creating one of her magical soups sans recipe. She was reading in the wicker chair by the window.
Even the walls held her. Her paintings of the canoe, of paddles, of the high rocks where the kids, and now grandkids, go to jump in summer. The perfect speckled trout she carved out of basswood. Her art everywhere, including in her daughter Christine, who will carry on the painting.
I go down to the dock where the red Northland Canoe is sitting, waiting. She paddled in the bow seat, me in stern. We have done trips from the mountains of British Columbia to the rivers of Quebec—and, of course, all through Algonquin Park. A perfect tripper, she more than carried her weight.
We had our best talks while paddling. Now the only sound is my paddle slicing through the water. I didn’t canoe much last summer. I intend to get back to it this year.
The old tin boat of her father’s is on its side. A couple of times a summer, she would have me hook up the old 6-h.p. Evinrude, and we would take the tin boat to the falls so that she could pick through the rocks that had been dislodged by winter ice and spring rush. It’s a wonder we didn’t sink on some of the return trips.
There is hand cream by the sink. Our daughter Kerry wrote about Ellen in the Ottawa Citizen and mentioned how she “always puts on too much hand cream. She says, ‘Come here, I took too much!’ and shares it with me, rubbing her hands on mine in a silly, loving manner.”
There is the fireplace and the woodshed, and she would be telling me and son Gord to get the chainsaw and splitter and make sure the new woodshed he built—wonder where that gene came from?—is filled with good hardwood for a winter trip we might or might not make. There is no winter access, so we drive in as far as we can and haul our food and water and supplies for a kilometre, most of it uphill. She would take one of the sleds, tie the rope around her waist, and simply grind it out. Ox blood, indeed.
She left the cottage to our four children. The cottage has known four generations of her family. She wants more. She left plans for a bunkie that she and John had been talking about for years. We decided to go ahead with it and, this spring, “Ellen’s Bunkie” will be open for grandchildren—six of them—and their friends.
There will be a large window with a view of the water. Daughter Jocelyn says there has to be one of her chairs there. “I could too easily see her easing into the chair with a cold drink and an ‘Ahhhh’ after her first sip—after a long day of hard work, of course.”
She will be here, just as her parents are forever here, if you know where to look. Her father’s trolling rod is on one wall. Her mother’s knitting and crochet work is on a table; her tea cozy is still in use.
Ellen on the dock with her family in 2014 (two grandchildren have since been added). Photo courtesy of the MacGregor family.
Ellen and her family, 2019
Ellen on her last trip to the cottage in 2020. Photo courtesy of the MacGregor family.
Ellen’s last trip to the cottage, 2020
Ellen’s grandkids, grandnieces, and grandnephews. Photo courtesy of the MacGregor family.
Ellen’s grandchildren
This cottage was her legacy, where she came with her parents, her sister, her husband, her children, her grandchildren. Soon there will be great-grandchildren, and they will find her here because she is on the walls, in the garden, forever in the stories of the one who always gave.
Jocelyn and her family came from Calgary during the summer. Jocelyn said it was crushingly sad at first, but as the week went on, she found the cottage a comfort. It had the same effect on her mother’s excess hand cream had on her when she was a child.
We said there would be a “Celebration of Life” once the cursed pandemic came to a close, and, of course, there will be—at her cottage.
Only it will not be a one-day event or even a one-generation celebration. Here, the Celebration of Life goes on as long as she is here.
Ellen had a treasured tradition at the cottage, a journal where she kept count of who visited and who did what while here. It is filled with love and appreciation, as it became customary to ask a guest or one of the children to describe their particular visit.
I gave the journal to 13-year-old grandson, Fisher, last August and told him to write about the fishing and the rock jumping and the neighbour’s crazy, bouncy lily pad.
He sat scribbling for a while. I left to do something else, and when I came back the pen was down, the journal open, and Fisher off to play.
“Miss you, Gramma,” he had written. “R.I.P.”
Roy MacGregor has been sharing his insights about life at the cottage with our readers since 1990. This article was originally published as “Rewriting the next chapter” in the June/July 2022 issue of Cottage Life.
The pandemic may have made many Canada Day events virtual for the last couple of years, but cottage country is not holding back on the celebrations now. From children’s games and activities to musical performances, beer gardens, and community traditions, there is something everyone can enjoy on July 1.
Huntsville
If you’re in Huntsville, celebrate Canada Day at Muskoka Heritage Place from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Tickets range from $13.15-$19.40, but admission is free from 9 to 11 a.m. The day will start with dignitary speeches, followed by live music and activities for all ages, including pioneer demonstrations and costumed narrators. The Steam Museum will also reopen, and trains will run every hour from noon to 3 p.m. Make sure to stop by the Lions Club for a peameal sandwich and cupcakes. For more details, visit Muskoka Heritage Place.
For more fun, make your way to River Mill Park between noon and 6 p.m. You can cool down with a cold one at the Lake of Bays Beer Garden while listening to free musical performances from Sean Cotton & The New Locals, Gina Horswood, The Waterhouse Band, Postman Dan & The Love Letters, and Brickz & Taktikz. Support charity and have a hot dog at the barbecue. Keep up-to-date on all the events with the Downtown Huntsville BIA.
Collingwood
Bring the family to Collingwood’s three-day Canada Weekend event from July 1-3. Start the celebrations off with a pancake breakfast on Friday, followed by a bike parade starting at Trott’s Sports Excellence Parking Lot and ending at the Collingwood Library. Stay in the downtown core to enjoy the Citizenship Reaffirmation Ceremony, the cutting of Canada’s birthday cake, and the 10th annual rubber duck race. Make sure you secure an early spot at Millennium Park or along the Waterfront Promenade for the best firework views at 10 p.m.
The rest of the weekend is full of events such as the Collingwood Downtown Farmers’ Market on Saturday morning at the Pine St. Parking Lot; the Collingwood Arts Market all day Saturday on Simcoe Street; and the Wild Card Street Circus from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m. at Sheffer Court.
You’ll also want to visit the Georgian Life photo booth and the Porchside Festival on Friday and Saturday. Lastly, don’t forget to take a selfie with Candid Canuck—a Collingwood icon! The Town of Collingwood has all the details you need to know.
Parry Sound
Canada Day meets Ribfest this year in Parry Sound at the Stockey Centre. Starting at 11 a.m. on Friday, kids can have fun with inflatables, face painting, balloon artists, and even play Midway games. Adults can enjoy the beer garden from 1 p.m. to 9 p.m. all weekend. There will also be musical performances during the three-day event, featuring The OneTimers, Jessica Sevier, and The Sun Harmonic. Fireworks will commence at dusk on Friday.
And as you work up an appetite celebrating the long weekend, you can eat your way through Ribfest from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. on July 1-3. More details on Canada Day and Ribfest can be found on The Stockey Centre website.
Westport is the place to be for a jam-packed day of fun and endless events. Get an early start with breakfast at the Westport Welcome Centre starting at 8 a.m., and then take the family to enjoy children’s and music by Tom Gard and Elvis at Westport Lions Beach from noon to 4 p.m. The Annual Bicycle Parade will start at 2 p.m. at St. Edward Catholic School. If you’re looking for a little more, you can take a helicopter ride at the Rideau Lakes Airfield. Reserve your spot at Circle K. You can also visit the Rideau Museum from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. or see the carriage display on Rideau Street from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
Is all that fun making you hungry? Well, it’s Legion Hamburger Friday from noon to 2 p.m. Live music will fill the Legion 542 patio from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. and take you right to the firework display. (Hint: bring your lawn chairs for a more comfortable experience.) Event details can be found on the Westport website.
Gravenhurst
Gravenhurst is hosting an all-ages afternoon of fun from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Gull Lake Rotary Park. Start the day off by visiting interactive tents set up by the Gravenhurst Public Library. Make sure to check out the Scales Nature Park display and the Junior Firefighter Challenge. Hotdogs will be served by Mayor Paul Kelly and the council at 11:30 a.m. and cupcakes will be handed out at 12 p.m. (yum!). The afternoon will end on a musical note with local ukulele band performances. Visit the Town of Gravenhurst for more information.
Festivities in Gravenhurst extend to July 2 at Walker’s Point Marina. Catch live music all afternoon and play carnival games to win prizes. You can also attend the free wake surf clinics sponsored by Muskoka Extreme or a ski show at 7 p.m. The night will end with a fireworks display at 10 p.m.
Port Carling
Canada Day in Port Carling is paired with the Lock Street Kick-Off, a pilot project converting Lock Street into a pedestrian-only area starting July 1. The festivities will be held from 12:00 to 2:00 p.m., beginning with a ribbon-cutting ceremony. While you enjoy the barbecue lunch, you can listen to live music or play a life-sized board game. More details on the Canada Day event and pilot project can be found on the Muskoka Lakes website.
Bracebridge
The Rotary Club is hosting Canada Day in Bracebridge this year at Birds Mill Mew. Kids can have fun playing games and making crafts starting at 3 p.m. The day will continue at Bracebridge Bay in the evening, where there will be musical performances, a duck derby, a beer garden, food vendors, and a floaty race. Stick around until 10 p.m. for the fireworks and laser show. Entrance is free, but a $5 donation is recommended to help fund the event. More details to follow on the Downtown Bracebridge website.
Lindsay
Canada Day in the Kawartha Lakes area is going to be full of excitement—just check out the lineup in Lindsay. Starting at 3 p.m. at Wilson Fields, kids can join in on making balloon animals, face painting, and obstacle courses, plus there will be a petting zoo, ponies, and carriage rides. There’s live entertainment throughout the day and vendors to browse for the adults. If you’re feeling hungry, grab a bite at the many food trucks or the barbecue hosted by the Lions Club. Fireworks will start at 10 p.m. Keep up-to-date with all the events on the Kawartha Lakes page.
Q:“My family shares a cottage with my parents and cousins from both sides. I am not very handy, but a few of my cousins are DIYers who insist on doing all cottage repairs. Normally this would be a good thing, but they usually do a very poor job and a lot of projects have to be done twice, which is a waste of time. I have suggested that paying someone to do the job right the first time would be money well spent, but they say any tradesperson would just ‘rip us off,’ even though we have never hired one before. No one in my family wants to rock the boat because my cousins are good people, but I’m getting tired of paying twice for materials. How can I change this situation?”
A: Having single-handedly staffed the Shared Cottage Complaint Hotline for the last while, I can safely say that your cohabitation experience is fairly unique because most family squabbles about fix-it stuff pivot around a central axis of laziness. Usually, this means family members are unwilling to help with chores and maintenance, sometimes to the point of defiant work avoidance. But it can also manifest itself in that special form of indolence where human arms are so lazy that they cannot reach down to pick up a purse or a wallet, or peck out an e-transfer on a smartphone. Sadly, at many shared places, sloth and stinginess walk hand in hand.
You are in an unusual bind. Like your cousins, many DIY enthusiasts—particularly the new, heavily bearded kind who refer to themselves as “makers”—are loathe to spend money on any task they could imagine performing themselves. It doesn’t matter that they have never installed a 200-amp electrical service panel before. How hard could it be? That’s why YouTube exists. Besides, they saw Mike Holmes do it once, and it only took his guy 22 minutes. Bear in mind that these are “normal” DIYers we are talking about. Your cousins are outliers because they see contractors as rip-off artists rather than hired help, and they appear to be extreme in their aversion to paying a professional to ensure professional results.
For regular DIYers, doing things themselves is all about pride, personal accomplishment, and a desire to learn a new skill. But because your cousins have comingled those same qualities with miserliness and suspicion, it will be very difficult to convince them to pay actual money for professional help, even if it is badly needed. And it’s curious that they repeatedly botch jobs only to redo them. Because while enthusiasm is a big part of DIY DNA, most of us have enough self-awareness to identify a job that is just too large, too complex, or too dangerous to tackle. That’s when you hire someone who is smarter and owns the proper tools and equipment to do the job. Having to redo a project you just finished last year? It’s proof positive you were never up to the job in the first place. But ultimately, it depends on the project: messing up a garden planter is no big whoop but screwing up more serious repairs, like plumbing or electrical or major roof fixes, will have serious and expensive consequences.
I guess you could try to convene a family meeting and lobby to raise money for some badly needed work, but I fear you’d be in for a rough ride. If expenses are shared evenly, your cousins won’t want to pay a red cent. And you might find that other members of your family suffer from alligator arms and are happy to put up with someone else’s half-assed job if it costs them little or nothing. To complicate matters, you would be operating in a perilous zone of hurt feelings, given that your cousins mean well and work hard, no matter how poor the result.
I recently spoke to a cottager with the reverse of your problem. His uncle, a retired contractor, also insisted on doing all the repairs and upgrades at a multi-family cottage. He had the talent and the tools, and any work done was of the highest quality. But he worked very slowly, with many stops and starts, so small projects took forever and big ones never ended. But he always had an excuse for slow progress and was adamant that a pro would take just as long and do a substandard job. Talk about a no-win situation. The guy is slow, but he does really good work for free. How do you find fault with that without looking like a total jerk?
Short of putting up with the status quo, I can see only two ways forward in this stalemate and both will cost you a lot of money. In a weak bid to minimize hurt feelings, you could make a pitch to the group that identifies specific jobs and suggest that money for them could be voluntarily contributed by family members. It’s a crapshoot. If everyone else votes to chip in, your handy cousins might cave under pressure and cough up some dough. But if they refuse to participate, the dominoes could fall, and you might be left with meagre or nonexistent support.
Agreement in any group is difficult. When the group is related by blood, consensus is usually impossible, sometimes just because when they were both 12, Kate gave Justin a wedgie in front of all the kids at the regatta. My advice, if you can afford it, is to simply pull an end-run around the whole family and personally pay to have a job that is important to you performed by a competent tradesperson. Secure a contractor well in advance, and try to schedule the work for a time when no one else is around. When the dust has settled, tell your cousins you feel terrible because they work so hard, and you can’t even swing a hammer. Mention their dedication and selflessness. Your kin might grumble, but I bet they’ll take the compliment. I’d also give 50/50 odds that other family members will feel pangs of conscience and toss some bucks your way. Or maybe they won’t. It’s actually quite impossible to know. But when you share a cottage with extended family, the relative who risks nothing, gains nothing.
This article was originally published in the June/July 2022 issue of Cottage Life magazine.
Q: “I share a cottage with a sibling and two cousins. I’m the only ‘handy’ owner, but we all pull together for chores and big improvements—except for one of my cousins. He doesn’t lift a finger to help and avoids the work weekends that we have twice a year. He pays his share of the cottage dues, but that’s all he does. The others don’t seem to think it’s a big deal, but I’m starting to get mad. How do other cottagers do it?”
A: A brilliant entrepreneur I know (my wife) has this to say about co-ownership situations: “Ideally, when starting any new venture, the only business partner you should have is the bank.” Wise words. And I think the same could really be said about cottage co-ownership which, with family or others, is a situation to be avoided at all costs. If only to preserve your own sanity.
But for a great many cottagers, myself included, that perfect world does not exist. I feel your pain because at one time I shared a family cottage with my three brothers. We definitely experienced bumps along the co-ownership path, but work sharing wasn’t one of the problems, even though we had wildly varying skill sets. Like most cottagers I know, we each did our best according to our own aptitude. For example, one of my brothers had a physical disability, so he couldn’t build docks or hump asphalt shingles up a ladder. But he was a trained chef, and kept the chuckwagon open, turning out three squares a day so the rest of us could stay focused on the dirty job at hand. At the end of the business, he’d help clean up and pass out cold beer. All in all, a full and fair contribution.
But a distressing number of cottagers are so inept that they represent a liability and a menace when it comes to cottage work. They are afraid of heights, cannot decipher the markings on a tape measure, and regularly lose their grip on swinging hammers. These people are very real, and you probably know at least one of them. The few that I know are well aware of their shortcomings in the handy department, but they compensate the old-fashioned way, with a liberal application of cash money. They spring for boat gas or buy an expensive new tool for common use. These bunglers are useless on the job site but will happily pay out-of-pocket for a new cottage sofa. Yes, they are buying their way out of work, but at least they try to contribute.
It sounds like this is not the situation at your cottage. To be blunt, your cousin seems like a complete jerk. Anyone who routinely shafts his co-owners—his own kin—with all the cottage grunt work, and does so knowingly, deserves a fiery eternity emptying Satan’s latrine with a sauna dipper. Maybe you could buy him out. Who knows? Your cousin might be happy to take the money and run, but I realize this could be impossible if the rest of you can’t afford to pay him to go away. (Plus, some sharing arrangements have legal agreements that lay out specific rules for buyouts and can include some sort of shotgun clause that could result in you losing your share of the place.) Your situation seems even more complex because it doesn’t sound like the other owners think your goldbricking cousin is a problem.
Personally, my go-to for these sorts of issues is public shaming. Start referring to the skiver as “my lazy-ass cousin” whenever he is within earshot. Make a sign for his bedroom that says “Count Slackula’s Den of Sloth.” At dinner, set out place cards for your co-owners. Susan’s might have a picture of a pretty bird, Tom’s a cute chipmunk, but Braydon, who doesn’t help out? His says “Deadbeat Bum” beside a photo of a bloodsucking leech. You get the idea. The possibilities are limitless and this approach is really fun.
That said, I have been repeatedly informed that public humiliation isn’t really “in” these days, so here’s plan B. The proper thing to do, the grown-up rational approach would be to seek consensus with the other owners before sitting down with Mr. Lazy Pants for a friendly and constructive meeting where you can talk about the subject in a blame-free, non-judgmental environment. Use powerful “I” statements: “I feel so frustrated with the whole situation” or “I just want to understand what’s going on here.” Maybe he will come to see your side of the issue and a new era of cottage cooperation will dawn under a halo of warm light, bringing hearts and hands together. You can certainly try this approach, but I think we both know that a habitual shirker like your cousin knows how to game the system and has done so for years. Clearly he is the kind of person who doesn’t bring wine or beer to a cottage weekend and selfishly eats all the pecans in the mixed nut bowl.
I am aware that it is impolitic to offend delicate sensibilities. Mustn’t hurt anyone’s feelings, right? Well, in this case I think you might need to employ some direct action towards your cousin by getting right up in his grill. Call it Plan B, Part 2, where you forcefully explain your side of things. Ask if there’s a reason for his behaviour. Don’t back down, and don’t let him squirm away. Make it very clear that the other owners are 100 per cent with you on this matter, even if they have never formally said as much. Explain that he is hurting your feelings (see what we did there?) and that the rest of you need his help to make this cohab a success. (“It’s tearing us apart!”) If you could squeeze out a few tears, that would be great. You need to use guilt as a power tool. (“Susan cries every night!”) I am convinced that you will get a powerful and emotional reaction out of him. And if you don’t, it’s a pretty good indication that he might be trending in the direction of narcissistic sociopathy so maybe you should lock your bedroom door and sleep with one eye open. Because when you share a cottage with blood relatives, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
If you’re looking for something fun to do with the kids this season or want to up your wintertime bird feeding game, decorate a tree in your yard with some DIY edible decorations. You may also get some squirrel or deer visitors; which are an extra visual bonus for the kids.
“What I think is fun about this idea is that you turn just filling up your bird feeder every day into a family activity,” says Jody Allair, Director, Community Engagement at Birds Canada. He says it’s a festive thing to do that goes beyond your typical decorating and becomes something the birds will appreciate. It’s also a way to build connections to the natural world. “We need more of those,” he says. “This is a great arts and crafts project to do as a family, and the reward is having birds in your yard.” It’s win-win for you and the birds.
First, pick a tree in your yard. Allair says it doesn’t have to be a conifer – even a bush will suffice. Speaking of trees, he also says once you’re done with your real Christmas tree, instead of putting it in the dump or in the garbage, you could ‘plant’ it outside once you’ve removed the tinsel, garland, and decorations. Of course the stump won’t take root in the frozen ground, but its branches can offer additional habitat for animals.
And since you’re doing all this to help the birds, “there are important elements to keep in mind to create a bird-friendly environment,” say Allair. “Don’t place the food or items in an area where birds are going to collide with the windows. Be strategic.” Also, if you have cats, keep them inside or on a leash. For anything you wish to hang, use natural string (the thicker the better he says); never use fishing line. “Natural string that can break down in the sun after a few months is fine.”
Now to the fun part. Here are five DIY feeder ideas you can make yourself this winter:
Hang bird-friendly Christmas cookies. Use this recipe from Birds Canada. Let your kids choose which shapes they’ll want their cookies to be.
Love blue jays? Give them peanuts, or peanut butter. “The best way to present them is with a peanut wreath, or Allair says you could simply string them together and hang them up. “They’re crazy for peanuts.”
Pinecone feeders. Go for a nature walk and gather some pinecones (not spruce, though, as Allair says they’re too soft). Tie on a string for hanging them up, then add peanut butter. (Allair says regular popular store brands are okay.) The hearty, rigid cones have lots of openings to fill.
Make your own suet balls or cakes. These offer a lot of messy DIY fun for kids. Allair recommends using large plastic margarine tubs to keep the mess at a minimum – unless you like lard all over the place. “It’s fun to roll the suet in seeds,” he says. Which type is best? Allair recommends black oil sunflower seeds – they have a high fat content, which birds need, and all species of birds are able to open them (no nutcracker required).
Log feeder. If you’ve got some hollow branches on hand, you can hang those, filled with peanut butter. “The birds will pluck out the peanut butter,” he says.
The main goal for each of these is to provide things the birds would like to eat in the natural world, “but you’re presenting it in a festive way,” he says.
You can also DIY a more traditional bird feeder and fill it with seed. To attract cardinals, include some sunflower seeds inside. Cardinals are “robust and like the perch,” Allair says, so they’ll need a sturdy structure where they can enjoy their meal.
If you provide a mix of food, you can expect chickadees, red-breasted nuthatches, downy woodpeckers, blue jays, and hairy woodpeckers.
Once your tree’s all decorated, relax with some hot chocolate by the fire and watch for visitors that stop by to admire – and eat – the outdoor decorations.
Know someone that’s an avid birdwatcher? Allair says Birds Canada’s Project Feeder Watch program makes a great last-minute gift.
If you’re looking for something fun to do with the kids this season or want to up your wintertime bird feeding game, decorate a tree in your yard with some DIY edible decorations. You may also get some squirrel or deer visitors; which are an extra visual bonus for the kids.
“What I think is fun about this idea is that you turn just filling up your bird feeder every day into a family activity,” says Jody Allair, Director, Community Engagement at Birds Canada. He says it’s a festive thing to do that goes beyond your typical decorating and becomes something the birds will appreciate. It’s also a way to build connections to the natural world. “We need more of those,” he says. “This is a great arts and crafts project to do as a family, and the reward is having birds in your yard.” It’s win-win for you and the birds.
First, pick a tree in your yard. Allair says it doesn’t have to be a conifer – even a bush will suffice. Speaking of trees, he also says once you’re done with your real Christmas tree, instead of putting it in the dump or in the garbage, you could ‘plant’ it outside once you’ve removed the tinsel, garland, and decorations. Of course the stump won’t take root in the frozen ground, but its branches can offer additional habitat for animals.
And since you’re doing all this to help the birds, “there are important elements to keep in mind to create a bird-friendly environment,” say Allair. “Don’t place the food or items in an area where birds are going to collide with the windows. Be strategic.” Also, if you have cats, keep them inside or on a leash. For anything you wish to hang, use natural string (the thicker the better he says); never use fishing line. “Natural string that can break down in the sun after a few months is fine.”
Now to the fun part. Here are five DIY feeder ideas you can make yourself this winter:
Hang bird-friendly Christmas cookies. Use this recipe from Birds Canada. Let your kids choose which shapes they’ll want their cookies to be.
Love blue jays? Give them peanuts, or peanut butter. “The best way to present them is with a peanut wreath, or Allair says you could simply string them together and hang them up. “They’re crazy for peanuts.”
Pinecone feeders. Go for a nature walk and gather some pinecones (not spruce, though, as Allair says they’re too soft). Tie on a string for hanging them up, then add peanut butter. (Allair says regular popular store brands are okay.) The hearty, rigid cones have lots of openings to fill.
Make your own suet balls or cakes. These offer a lot of messy DIY fun for kids. Allair recommends using large plastic margarine tubs to keep the mess at a minimum – unless you like lard all over the place. “It’s fun to roll the suet in seeds,” he says. Which type is best? Allair recommends black oil sunflower seeds – they have a high fat content, which birds need, and all species of birds are able to open them (no nutcracker required).
Log feeder. If you’ve got some hollow branches on hand, you can hang those, filled with peanut butter. “The birds will pluck out the peanut butter,” he says.
The main goal for each of these is to provide things the birds would like to eat in the natural world, “but you’re presenting it in a festive way,” he says.
You can also DIY a more traditional bird feeder and fill it with seed. To attract cardinals, include some sunflower seeds inside. Cardinals are “robust and like the perch,” Allair says, so they’ll need a sturdy structure where they can enjoy their meal.
If you provide a mix of food, you can expect chickadees, red-breasted nuthatches, downy woodpeckers, blue jays, and hairy woodpeckers.
Once your tree’s all decorated, relax with some hot chocolate by the fire and watch for visitors that stop by to admire – and eat – the outdoor decorations.
Know someone that’s an avid birdwatcher? Allair says Birds Canada’s Project Feeder Watch program makes a great last-minute gift.
If you’re looking for something fun to do with the kids this season or want to up your wintertime bird feeding game, decorate a tree in your yard with some DIY edible decorations. You may also get some squirrel or deer visitors; which are an extra visual bonus for the kids.
“What I think is fun about this idea is that you turn just filling up your bird feeder every day into a family activity,” says Jody Allair, Director, Community Engagement at Birds Canada. He says it’s a festive thing to do that goes beyond your typical decorating and becomes something the birds will appreciate. It’s also a way to build connections to the natural world. “We need more of those,” he says. “This is a great arts and crafts project to do as a family, and the reward is having birds in your yard.” It’s win-win for you and the birds.
First, pick a tree in your yard. Allair says it doesn’t have to be a conifer – even a bush will suffice. Speaking of trees, he also says once you’re done with your real Christmas tree, instead of putting it in the dump or in the garbage, you could ‘plant’ it outside once you’ve removed the tinsel, garland, and decorations. Of course the stump won’t take root in the frozen ground, but its branches can offer additional habitat for animals.
And since you’re doing all this to help the birds, “there are important elements to keep in mind to create a bird-friendly environment,” say Allair. “Don’t place the food or items in an area where birds are going to collide with the windows. Be strategic.” Also, if you have cats, keep them inside or on a leash. For anything you wish to hang, use natural string (the thicker the better he says); never use fishing line. “Natural string that can break down in the sun after a few months is fine.”
Now to the fun part. Here are five DIY feeder ideas you can make yourself this winter:
Hang bird-friendly Christmas cookies. Use this recipe from Birds Canada. Let your kids choose which shapes they’ll want their cookies to be.
Love blue jays? Give them peanuts, or peanut butter. “The best way to present them is with a peanut wreath, or Allair says you could simply string them together and hang them up. “They’re crazy for peanuts.”
Pinecone feeders. Go for a nature walk and gather some pinecones (not spruce, though, as Allair says they’re too soft). Tie on a string for hanging them up, then add peanut butter. (Allair says regular popular store brands are okay.) The hearty, rigid cones have lots of openings to fill.
Make your own suet balls or cakes. These offer a lot of messy DIY fun for kids. Allair recommends using large plastic margarine tubs to keep the mess at a minimum – unless you like lard all over the place. “It’s fun to roll the suet in seeds,” he says. Which type is best? Allair recommends black oil sunflower seeds – they have a high fat content, which birds need, and all species of birds are able to open them (no nutcracker required).
Log feeder. If you’ve got some hollow branches on hand, you can hang those, filled with peanut butter. “The birds will pluck out the peanut butter,” he says.
The main goal for each of these is to provide things the birds would like to eat in the natural world, “but you’re presenting it in a festive way,” he says.
You can also DIY a more traditional bird feeder and fill it with seed. To attract cardinals, include some sunflower seeds inside. Cardinals are “robust and like the perch,” Allair says, so they’ll need a sturdy structure where they can enjoy their meal.
If you provide a mix of food, you can expect chickadees, red-breasted nuthatches, downy woodpeckers, blue jays, and hairy woodpeckers.
Once your tree’s all decorated, relax with some hot chocolate by the fire and watch for visitors that stop by to admire – and eat – the outdoor decorations.
Know someone that’s an avid birdwatcher? Allair says Birds Canada’s Project Feeder Watch program makes a great last-minute gift.
